Waiting, waiting, waiting

I'm waiting for my man..... It's not just you Lou Reed, it's all I seem to do anymore! He is ALWAYS late.

There's nothing like waiting for someone to make you feel more alone. If I was single, or knew I wouldn't see him today, I would have arranged to see a friend or visit my Mum. But waiting is the worst thing on earth. I think I made it worse by being stubborn and ignoring my phone all day. My thinking was that if I don't check my phone every 5 minutes, and just imagine he's not coming at all, it'll be a nice surprise when he does show up. It also means, when he tries to arrange to come round even later than he said he was going to, I have no way of knowing that. Lose-lose for me really. And makes me more angry when he doesn't show up and I end up waiting longer.

It's not his fault, just to be clear, he has family to take care of and he volunteers. That doesn't make me feel much better though. I want to be near my family and friends and drop in on them when he's busy, but I can't because they're an hour away.

If I lived in the same city as all my friends, or somewhere I felt more at home, it wouldn't be so bad. Unfortunately I live in Leicester, a place I've only lived for 9 months, and commute out of the city so I don't know either place very well. I just feel a bit lost living here, I don't have any memories anywhere. Perhaps that's my own fault for moving away. I put my career before my own feelings of security and feeling at home. I am glad I did it though, mostly so that my Dad got to see me become a teacher and have a proper career before he passed away. That was important to me.

 

I guess I need to find a way to make Leicester feel more like a home, or to occupy myself. Sharing a house with strangers doesn't help with this as I tend to spend hours in my room rather than roaming around the house, making myself feel more isolated. Perhaps I should set myself projects like going to the park and taking photos, or going for a long walk. It's not the same walking without a dog though. I want one of these...

 Affenpinscher (which is German for Monkey-Hound)

Kind of ugly-cute, like a pug. And doesn't need brushing.

Any tips from people who have successfully moved away from their home city alone? It's been harder than I ever imagined it would be. Not alone does my new home not feel like home, my old one doesn't anymore either.