Thursday, 12 July 2012

Are you unofficial until you're facebook official?

There comes a point in every relationship where you have the conversation, do we become facebook official? This is a modern dilemma that couples of the past have never had to muse over. Elizabeth Bennet never had to request Mr Darcy become her facebook friend, or even her modern day equivalent, Bridget Jones, was before the time of this dilemma (I'm sure she would have had lots to say on the matter though). It's such a recent problem, and yet suddenly such a universal one.

I have been given the impression that it is mainly girls who push for the moment of digital-commitment. Becoming facebook official tells all your friends that you have a partner, and who they are. In some ways this is a good thing, to tell ex partners that your boyfriend is now off the market, or to rub in the face of those that turned you down that you aren't sitting around pining for them to change their mind. 

So is it something to worry about if one member of the couple doesn't want to be official? My boyfriend and I aren't facebook official. Of course it crosses my mind that he doesn't want other girls to know about me, in case something better comes along, but he doesn't seem to be hiding me away from the people he knows. The reason we aren't a facebook couple is, in my opinon, because we both value our privacy. I don't want people to know every detail of my life. I don't broadcast about what I'm having for dinner, or when I'm taking a bath, so why would I broadcast about my love life? The people who are important to me know what's happening in my life, and I'd like to be the one to tell them. I imagine some people go for coffee with a friend and start telling them what they've been doing recently, and where they've been, and the friend responds with "I know, I saw it on facebook." God knows I know plenty about people I haven't seen in years thanks to their constant and personal updates.

In conclusion, being facebook official or not isn't really a big enough deal to worry about. As long as your partner isn't using social networks to recruit new shag buddies, there isn't really a reason to worry about it. And if they are, they're probably doing it in real life too. If you boyfriend is refusing to become facebook official, I wouldn't worry about it. As long as it's all good in real life, it shouldn't be a problem.

Now if they refuse to add you on facebook, but then add your friends... that's a different matter. Then you are entitled to make yourself heard!

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