Friday, 16 November 2012

Is it ok to cheat on a stag do?

At the moment my boyfriend is away on my brother's stag weekend. Of course, as many women in this situation can probably relate to, the thought 'what if he cheats on me' has crossed my mind. I trust my boyfriend, and I don't think he would cheat, but it's hard to keep out the idea that stag dos are about seeking out women, talking to women and having a wild time.

should cheat on stag party

In fact, stag dos are practically designed to be the ideal scenario for men to cheat. Often they're away from their home town (my brother's stag weekend is in another country), I have heard the phrase 'what happens abroad, stays abroad' used in relation to stag dos, and women groups out partying are aware that men on stag nights are the ideal men to try to pull. In addition to this, most stag parties end up in a strip club at the end of the night, and many involve hiring a stripper. A study conducted by Illicit Encounters suggests a third of men cheat on stag weekends. To be fair, a survey by a company called 'Illicit Encounters' may not be the most trustworthy of sources.

Should I be worried? Probably not. It is by no means forced that men pull on a stag weekend. Obviously, I think my man is the most desirable of the party. Yet, my brother's friends are not the typical loudmouth lads that go out on the pull and chat up women and my boyfriend certainly wouldn't lead people to do this. I am aware that my bloke may end up in a strip club and it is expected that he will watch half-naked women dancing. This I can get over, although it doesn't make me feel overjoyed.

Another stag tradition seems to be the lap dance. Is this something to be concerned about? To be honest, I would be quite upset if he told me he'd had one. It sickens me the idea of a woman grinding herself up against my fella, and him being turned on by this. He wouldn't do this on a normal Saturday night in England, so just because it's a stag do doesn't mean it should be allowed. I would feel a certain amount of pressure just to 'get over it' as it is an expected part of the stag do, everyone else probably did it, and it's not like he cheated. It still makes me feel quite upset though and I'd much prefer he didn't participate. 

I'd like to think as he's away with my brother, my brother would get quite angry if my boyfriend cheated on me. As the stag with a 'last night of freedom' I hope he won't cheat on his fiance, but I think I'd rather not know if he did. I know he's had flings in the past, but only when he was single. I don't think he'd risk breaking up his relationship by messing about with someone else. On the other hand, he does like a drink and I can imagine him being tempted by beautiful women.

Generally, I think these stag weekends are too expensive, set up for men to behave like morons and are just tempting people to cheat on their partners. I think we should go back to the days when the blokes had a beer down the pub with their best mates before they were married. 

What do you think about stag dos? Are hen dos just as bad? How would you feel if your partner got a lapdance?


Anonymous said...

My partner is due to go on a stag and im really worried that he will go to a lap dancing bar.hes told me he won't but I cant help but think he will an its getting me down alot an hes starting to notice an keeps asking me whats wrong.

Anonymous said...

I know alot of stags do it but im just so afraid he will go further than just a lap dance I really dont know what to do.

Lucinda Harrington said...

you're always going to be worried, but if you overdo it, he's going to be more upset than if you just trust him. Just put it out of your mind, plan to be busy with friends, and trust him. If he isn't faithful you'll find out eventually but obsessing won't help!

Anonymous said...

I know you're right about just putting it out of my mind but its so hard as I know when hes been out with mates before hes chatted up women an has even got numbers an tried to say it was because of me moaning about him goin out in the first place. Sorry for goin on but I really have no one to talk to about this. Thanks for replying.