Tuesday, 2 April 2013

One Year

On the 28th it was a year since my Dad died. I was worried about teaching teenagers on an emotional day, so told my employer and organised a day off. It turned out as it was the last day of term half the students weren't in, or were doing exams anyway.

I spent the day pottering around the house and hanging out with the dog. At one point, watching Scrubs, I got quite upset. It just happened to be the episode where Perry is talking to his brother, and then realises he's at his funeral, but all his friends are there to support him. The dog noticed I was upset and came and gave me a cuddle.

I then drove back to Mum's where my brother and his wife were visiting, and one of Dad's close friends. We didn't talk about Dad that much, and I didn't want to push it and make people upset, but I would have liked to have talked about our happy memories a bit more. I did think about them during the day though, and I know everyone else did, so I guess we did that on our own.

My boyfriend came and joined us and we all sat and had a drink. Mum fell asleep fairly early, and so we all headed off to bed. It was a quiet day and I don't think anyone felt there was much to say, other than... we survived it, but we still miss him.

I still miss my Dad every day and wish I could talk to him about so many things. Thankfully I have a supportive partner who has helped me to feel safe and cared for by being consistent and letting me know that he isn't going anywhere. I am so thankful for that.

I hope those of you who are missing someone take care of yourselves and get support from your families. It's a terrible thing to go through, and a stressful situation will just make it worse, so look after yourself.

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