How to insult 1000 people in one go.

I went to a wedding on Friday. It was my boyfriend's colleague's wedding so I wanted to make a good impression.. I wanted to look smart so I picked a knee-length floaty cream dress and my beige mango shoes that I totally love:

I thought, I'm looking sophisticated. It was an Indian wedding, but I assumed there would be other British people there in non-Indian clothing. We got a taxi there so we could both enjoy ourselves and have a bit to drink.

Anyway, I turned up and instantly knew I'd made a mistake. Everyone was in full length dresses, and those who weren't had leggings down to their ankles. We were the only non-Indian people there. It turns out is was a Muslim wedding and people were dressed much like this:

By then it was too late, and I knew I had to spend the rest of the night standing out like a sore thumb feeling like a hooker. I didn't have a low cut dress, and it wasn't especially short, but it was clear I had made a big mistake. There were no other British people there, even my boyfriend's work friends were of Indian heritage. 

The wedding was HUGE. They had hired out a huge hall and there were about 1000 guests. Thankfully we spent most of the time seated on a balcony above the main hall were there weren't too many guests. We went downstairs for a short time, and said hello to the bride. That was the worst bit because everyone knew I didn't fit in and I felt like they thought I had deliberately set out to insult their beliefs. To make things worse, the bride knew who I was when she met me and I just wanted to say "I'm sorry if I've inadvertently ruined your wedding." Anyway, it's over now, and I can laugh about it. It also has amused a few of my friends.

Anyway, if you get invited to an Indian wedding.... check if it is Muslim, and cover up. Please don't make the same mistake I did. Sigh.

Things my students have said this week.

I have had a crazy busy week, thus no blog post. I have been teaching learners doing English how to use connectives and avoid run on sentences, those doing maths how to mulitply and divide by ten, and those doing GCSE English to analyse a poster. I have also had 2 lunch breaks this week, thus feeling incredibly exhausted at the beginning of the week.

I seem to have nicer classes this year. This is [probably because I have fewer beauty and hair classes, and no motor vehicle classes. Motor vehicle students are renouned for having poor English and maths skills and not being interested in progressing. They also don't seem to be able to sit still and constantly throw paper airplanes or to fight each other. Beauty and hair students are also not interested in learning, but sit and roll their eyes and tut. They also tend to not have much of a sense of humour. 

The classes I have had have come out with some funny things though. Here are some things my learners have said this week:

"Miss, have you ever fallen asleep with chewing gum in your mouth?"

When looking at a poster with the title "FIND YOUR FEET",  a student with Asperger's said "I've found my feet", without a trace of humour.

An art class : I said "What artists are you interested in?"... silence. Then I said "Do you all use of facebook?"... all of the learners: "Yeah!". 

Student: "I don't wanna do this." Me: "Deal with it!". Student then gives me a high five and completes the work.

"I want to give a jaffa cake a facial".



Teenagers.... completely unpredictable!

Gorgeous Ikea bedding for that shabby chic look

Things are happening towards getting the house ready! I went with the boyfriend to Ikea on Sunday. We bought some bedding, candles and a few more small bits, but nothing huge. We need to wait till we get the house before actually buying most things. We weren't impressed by any of the ikea furniture anyway. Most of it was melamine, which is a fake type of wood, and I much prefer the real things.

I am in love with the bedding we got. We bought Emmie Land bedding, which I have been lusting after for a while.

 The Emmie Land bedding was £15 for a duvet cover and 4 pillow covers. We also bought some really cheap bed linen, which was lovely too. It's called Bladvass, and was £4 for a double duvet cover and 4 pillow covers. I couldn't believe it was so cheap!

Lastly, we bought Nyponros bedding for the spare room. It's neither feminine nor masculine and will look nice on a white painted bed. I did describe it as 'Boy-in-the-Striped Pyjamas-chic' which I'm sure is a phrase that won't catch on and very un-politically correct of me. This one cost £35, a little more than we should have paid, but never mind.

The last thing we got was a cosy blanket for the coming winter nights. Bigrit Stra, a woolen bedspread.

I can't wait to move in and snuggle up in my lovely new bedding. Just got to get a comfy mattress first! Anyone know any good mattress shops?

Should social media have restrictions?

Social media is a massive part of the lives of many people all over the world. Should there be limits to the content that people can put on their social networking site?

There have been a tonne of arrests made due to people's use of twitter. After the London riots, police used social media to track down people who had been stealing from stores. A man made a threat to an airline on twitter about planting a bomb at the airport and was arrested. Even a teenager was arrested after sending abusive messages to Tom Daley, the olympic swimmer, on Twitter.

The latest news has been the fan pages for the killers of two British policewomen in Greater Manchester. Fans have created a Facebook page that praised the murderer. However, the condolences page has received far more support than this malicious page in support of the murderer. But are the people creating this page intending to appear controversial, just silly teenagers who aren't thinking, or do they have a more evil intent? Read more here.

The Colardo killer who shot people during a batman film also had facebook pages in support of him. This could be linked to the unusual circumstances of the killings, the fact they were linked to a film, or an extension of support for the film. If the man in question was unaware of his actions, these support pages would seem merely poor taste.The situation becomes slightly more disturbing with the knowledge that the killer defended his sanity and stated that his attack was a planned event. More about the Colorado killer facebook fanpage here.

These fansites have been allowed to continue due to the right people have of freedom of speech. There must be a place to draw this line. If people were planning terrorist attacks on social media, or showing support for terrorist organisations, the authorities would step in. On the other hand, by having these conversations in a place where everybody can view them, people can also interact. I haven't seen these support pages, and don't really want to, but it is my guess that people are writing on their walls how appalled they are by the group and stating the reasons why the creators are wrong. If people are putting bad stuff out there, people will also be correcting it.

As to people being arrested due to ill-thought-out twitter messages, I find this a little extreme. I guess the police have to take things seriously in case something does happen that they ignored. People should think about what they are typing for all to see, and remember, you're not chatting to your friends in the pub when you write on the internet: you're putting it out there for the whole world to access.

Embarrasing things I have done at work

Spending more than 40 hours a week in one place is sure to result in hilarious moments, some real lows and at times, forgetting you're in a public place. This is a minefield if you're a slightly unusual person to start with. Here are some shameful work blunders I've made the mistake of doing when I'm not thinking about where I am. 

Pulled a weird face

It sounds like nothing, but sometimes when I'm thinking of a conversation I've had earlier, I act it out with my face. Other people obviously don't know this. This is the kind of thing I do in seemingly safe places: an empty corridor or walking across the car park. Unfortunatly there is often someone watching that you don't know of, and when you look up and catch their eye after walking along and suddenly pulling a contorted expression... shameful, and slightly confusing, for them.

Spat tea out

Sometimes, I choke on tea. It gets caught in my throat. I don't know why, but I do. Unfortunately, sometimes that happens at work and I spit it all over myself. Occasionally I spit it all over my nearest colleague. At my last place of work, my 'work-dad' older colleague friend used to remind me of the time I spat tea out in the corridor and he had to dive out the way.

Sang a little song

This is a recent experience. I walked down a corridor recently, and my keys were jangling. This reminded me of the song Mr Bojangles. I sang a quick line of "Lucy Boooojangles" to myself, thinking no one was around. It turned out there was a student about 2 feet in front of me, round a corner. He looked at me pretty strangely. 

Picked my nose

I don't think I've been caught doing this at work, but I have stood outside a senior member of staff's office, that had a partially glass door, and seen them picking their nose. They looked up and saw me mid-pick, and looked embarrassed. The next week, the glass on the door was covered up.

Cried

This is a pain if you're a teacher, and your desk is right near the staffroom door. I have cried at work a number of times, sometimes due to the job, sometimes due to extreme personal reasons. Then a student comes looking for you, and spots that you've been crying. Before you know it, they all know and it's the talk of the town. Even getting out the building is a hazard when there are tonnes of teenagers loitering around. There's not a lot you can do about it, but it makes those low moments far more unbearable!

Do you have any embarrassing stories?

Why can't the management just get it right?

Why do managers get things wrong all the time? Why does everything have to be done illogically? Can't people just make things easier for their staff! Here are some reasons I am extremely frustrated with my managers.

1. My timetable has been changed today. 

I started teaching two weeks ago, getting course files ready and preparing for my groups. My timetable has been changed... today. This means my preparation has been completely wasted time.

2. Lesson lengths.

1.5 hours a week to teach a GCSE in English is half the time I actually need. We're a laughing stock among other colleges. And yet, no one does anything about it, and I am the one who will look bad with poor results. 

Also, 1.5 hours a week is too long to teach Functional Skills. Teenagers don't want to spend 90 minutes learning about percentages. Particularly in classes at 3:30-5:00. Again, I will be the one left with the poor results due to bad planning!

3. Feeling ignored.

I have worked for my line manager for over a month now. She has failed to respond to numerous emails, and never tells me information directly, only through other people. Does this make me feel like a valued member of staff? No.

4. No decisions at crucial times.

This may be linked to why I am being ignored, but decisions are being pushed to the sideline so I don't know what my groups are supposed to be learning, or which students I am teaching and when. But, you can guarantee if I ignored a problem in this way, I would be held accountable later.

5. Poor staff moral.

When everyone in a department is feeling undervalued and over worked, it can lead to a stressful working environment. Many of my colleagues are either leaving, or thinking about leaving, and it is this that is the big worry. If people are finding it that upsetting to work somewhere, and feeling demoralised, it's sure to have a knock on effect on others. There's no one to give others a little lift or get them through the difficult days. Unfortunately this is the situation I find myself in now, and it makes me want to abandon ship too. 



To get me through each day I have two mantras:

1. I'm good at my job, so they can all go fuck themselves. (Not the must P.C. phrase, but helps when I'm feeling completely stressed and undervalued)

and

2. This is a stepping stone. It's not forever.

It's unfortunate it's come to this, but this is the reality of teaching in a poor managed institution. And to think, they're hoping for a grade 1 at Ofsted. Definitely not deserved if you ask me. 

Anniversary

Today is our one year anniversary. We're celebrating from the day we first met because we can't remember when we became 'official'. I did go on a date with another fella the night after we met though, which my boyfriend has mentioned a few times. I shouldn't have told him.

In true old- couple style we are going to spend the day wandering around furniture stores looking at leather sofas for our new house. We went to see the sofas from this blog post yesterday, but they weren't the lovely soft vintage leather we were imagining.

We have been looking at some gorgeous sofas online, but until we see them, it's hard to make a judgement. We're going to look in John Lewis today, and perhaps some charity furniture stores. Having no where to store furniture till we get the house is a real problem though.

I'm hoping if we get expensive sofas we really like, we can do up everything else cheaply. My plan is to buy some cheap old pine furniture, and paint it with primer and white paint to give it that cutesy shabby chic look.

Here is the kind of thing I've been looking at:

This pine chest:

Will become something like this:

This average table:

 Will have a new lease of life by having its legs painted like this:

And a pine wardrobe:

Can be a simple shabby chic classic:

I am so excited to get my paint brushed out, and I'm sure my boyfriend will love the savings we'll make! It's win win. Be prepared for some how-to new-home-related posts in the next month or two!

Peaches Geldof flips baby while on phone

Now, I know a lot of people are addicted to their phones. God knows my students would struggle to go half an hour without checking their texts, and feel they need to be constantly contactable or something terrible might happen. However, I hope and pray they don't ever become as addicted to their phone as Peaches Geldof.

Peaches, daughter of Bob Geldof, has a 5 month baby, and was walking the baby in a pram whilst chatting on the phone. We don't know what happened, but whoops, the pram flips over. Poor Peaches looks concerned....

Any mother would quickly rush to the baby's aid and console the poor mite. What most people wouldn't do is quickly place the phone back to their ear and continue their conversation...

 
Now I'm not a fan of paparazzi taking photos of celebrities, and I'm sure they can present a false image of a situation, yet it's hard to defend Peaches in this instance. She should have thrown down the phone and attended to the baby that is now lying in a heap on the concrete.

Any words of defence out there for Peaches?

Bieber Fever

I went to the Capital One Summer Sunday this summer. It was good, and had brilliant entertainment from Ed Sheeran, Katy Perry and Jessie J. However, it also has Justin Bieber. 

Throughout the whole day, all the teenage girls, and even pre-teens, in the audience were buzzing about Just Bieber. He was on second to last, but they were all sporting I Love Justin t-shirts and his name written all over themselves. At one point he appeared at a window, so all the young girls ran over to stand where he had been spotted. For literally the rest of the day these young girls couldn't enjoy the concert because they were craning their heads round every 2 minutes to see if Justin was at the window again.

I have never seen obsession like it. Long before he was onstage I could sense the desperation in the air among the young members of the audience. As soon as he came onstage, the girls went wild and banners were raised all over the place. Although we weren't anywhere near the stage, the girls were widly trying to catch his eye and screaming that they loved him.

He even invited one girl on stage with him. The aftermath of this was the young girl in question, who had actually been standing just in front of me and my friends, was shaken and seemed either overjoyed or catatonic. The other girls in the audience were in tears when Justin's mini-gig was over and seemed geniuinely inconsolable. 

I just find it very strange that girls can be so besotted with someone they don't know. I know that teenage infatuation is a common thing, and is often aimed at celebrities. They're too young for the feelings to be sexual in a conscious way, but perhaps they are linked in with status or popularity. Whatever it is, I don't remember feeling THAT strongly about any celebrities and it seems quite scary the intensity of the emotions.

I can't help but wonder what effect all this has on Justin Bieber himself. He was shouting about still looking for a girlfriend, which obviously meant all the girls were screaming "me, I'll be your girlfriend", and he clearly knows the effect he has on these girls. It can't be easy being an object of such affection, there is no way he can go out in public like a normal person of his age. He must also have a very confused idea of himself; he has been famous since he was young and these are the years people truly find their identity. I can't imagine going through the ups and down of teenage life in the spotlight, particularly knowing you are adored by millions of people who haven't even met you. 

If I was a relative of Justin Bieber, I would have some massive concerns about his upbringing and his future. Is he going to continue on as a musician? It seems unlikely that his style would appeal once he reaches adulthood. A come-down from this level of success can only have negative influences on someone so young and vulnerable. 

What do you think?

My favourite poem

I like poetry. I don't sit around reading it for long periods of time, but I do like to dip into it if I'm in the right mood. It's easier to give yourself a literary snack rather than having to commit to reading pages of a book when you're not in the mood or don't have a lot of time.

Here is my favourite poem. It is also where my blog alias name comes from... Lady Lazarus. I love the imagery, the way her mood is captured and the intense sadness of the poem. It really evokes an emotion. It is by Sylvia Plath and about her various attempts at suicide. Read it aloud; it is gorgeous.

Lady Lazarus
by Sylvia Plath
I have done it again. One year in every ten I manage it-- A sort of walking miracle, my skin Bright as a Nazi lampshade, My right foot A paperweight, My face a featureless, fine Jew linen. Peel off the napkin O my enemy. Do I terrify?-- The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth? The sour breath Will vanish in a day. Soon, soon the flesh The grave cave ate will be At home on me And I a smiling woman. I am only thirty. And like the cat I have nine times to die. This is Number Three. What a trash To annihilate each decade. What a million filaments. The peanut-crunching crowd Shoves in to see Them unwrap me hand and foot-- The big strip tease. Gentlemen, ladies These are my hands My knees. I may be skin and bone, Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman. The first time it happened I was ten. It was an accident. The second time I meant To last it out and not come back at all. I rocked shut As a seashell. They had to call and call And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls. Dying Is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real. I guess you could say I've a call. It's easy enough to do it in a cell. It's easy enough to do it and stay put. It's the theatrical Comeback in broad day To the same place, the same face, the same brute Amused shout: 'A miracle!' That knocks me out. There is a charge For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge For the hearing of my heart-- It really goes. And there is a charge, a very large charge For a word or a touch Or a bit of blood Or a piece of my hair or my clothes. So, so, Herr Doktor. So, Herr Enemy. I am your opus, I am your valuable, The pure gold baby That melts to a shriek. I turn and burn. Do not think I underestimate your great concern. Ash, ash-- You poke and stir. Flesh, bone, there is nothing there-- A cake of soap, A wedding ring, A gold filling. Herr God, Herr Lucifer Beware Beware. Out of the ash I rise with my red hair And I eat men like air.

Brown leather sofas

I'm glad to say, myself and the boyfriend have similar taste in home decor. Either that, or he just goes along with what I like, which is fine by me because I have excellent taste.

There is one thing we have been lusting after... a leather sofa. There are some gorgeous Marks and Spencer ones that I have been checking out, and it's currently 30% off. That still means we'll be spending about 2 grand on 2 sofas which is not cheap by anyone's standards. I've been looking online and there do seem to be some second hand sofas that are still gorgeous, but the things seem to hold their value a lot and they're still not a bargain.

The question is, do we pay big bucks for sofas we love and will keep for years, or get something cheap until we're in a more financially comfortable position? I think the second option is probably much more grown-up, and is probably be what we'll do, but a girl can still look right?

Here is some sofa porn for all of you to enjoy.

Abbey sofa: Large

 Abbey sofa: Medium

 Barnum sofa: Large

 Barnum sofa: Medium

 Love love love. Imagine two of these, cream carpet, this blanket ready to snuggle under...

this bookshelf....

and a carefully placed stack of vintage books...

Heaven.

Why I love Statcounter/ Statcounter review

Part of the blogging experience is monitoring how much interest your blog is getting. Blogger has a rudimentary counter of page views, but with Statcounter you can see detailed information about your blog's views.

Statcounter can show you where each view has come from, down to the city. It also lets you know if people are unique visitors, or reoccuring ones.

The page the viwer has come from is recorded, so you can see referring websites that are promoting your blog, or whether entries on forums are increasing blog traffic. This is useful as the way people find your blog tells you a little about who is reading it. Most referalls I recognise as being put there myself, or are found via an image search on google. However, sometimes referalls don't exist which means people have typed you blog site directly into their webpage or have you saved in their favourites, which is much more exciting!

It tells you the length of visits too. Some people clearly look at the photo on images and then leave. Some people spend 30 seconds scanning the text. Some people spend a few minutes and keep coming back. I like those people best.

The most fun is looking at what words people have type in a search engine to find my blog.

This tells me someone has typed in "A dirty shame nude couple" and been led to my blog. Perhaps it led them to this post, but if not, I don't know why it found me. Strange but intersting!

Anyway, I will continue to analyse my stats in a geek-chic style fashion, and to see if my blog is growing in love from others, or people are just getting bored. If they are I'll have to think of some controversial blog posts. Perhaps naked photos of people I know, or dishing the dirt on my colleagues. Hopefully people will be happy with my more politically correct current blog and I won't have to go down that road!

My favourite podcast

When I drive to work, I mostly listen to music. Sometimes you're not in the mood for music, and want to hear something you can become absorbed in to make the time pass faster. At times like these, I listen to the Ricky Gervais podcasts.
 

 
 
You may have seen them animated on Channel 4 and marketed as the Ricky Gervais Show. I do like these, but I was fan before all the hype. It's always nice to think you were there in the beginning rather than just jumping on the bandwagon.
 
More often than not, I listen to even older stuff. Before the Ricky Gervais Show, Steve Merchant, Ricky Gervais and Karl Pilkington had a show on XFM which was similar to the podcasts but in which they played music and recorded live. In some ways these are funnier because they are unedited, and you hear the stories for the first time. A lot of the stories are repeated again on the podcasts, so Ricky and Steve's reactions are slightly forced to make it seem like they haven't heard it all before.
 
If you haven't heard of the shows, they basically involve Ricky Gervais (the British comedian who wrote the Office... if you haven't heard of him WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?), Steven Merchant who co-wrote the office with Ricky, and Karl Pilkington. Karl was discovered by the two when they were given him as their producer on the XFM shows, and they quickly discovered he was comedy gold.
 

 
 
Karl appears to be a fairly simple bloke from Manchester. He is academically bright, but despite his gormless expression and apparent stupidity, he is fairly quick witted. He is stubborn and has his own opinions but is in no way arrogant. It is Karl that makes the recordings so funny and interesting, from his incredible upbringing (his stories could be out of a fairy tale), to his alternative views he is pure hilarity. It is when you find yourself agreeing with things he has said that you start to get worried.
 
Ricky and Steve alternate from being engrossed by Karl, to telling him to shut up and stop being an idiot. There comedy banter keeps the shows rolling and provide endless entertainment.
 
If you haven't heard the shows, you can find Series 1 Episode 1 here, or download any of the series from Itunes. You may be able to catch the animated versions on 4OD.


 
I'll leave you with some of my favourite quotes from the show:
 
Karl:  A jelly fish is 97% water. Why don't we just give it another 3% and make it water.
 
Ricky: I love the fact that we've just talked about him asking me nicely not to squeeze his head when people are around and the girl who ages so quickly she should be served in Oddbins but he goes "we've got some weird stuff coming up".

Karl: You never see an old man eating a twix

 
Ricky: Be careful with the language. Screw, damn, and bloody do not a sermon make.


Ricky (about Karl): His head is perfectly round.


Steve: Rick I sometimes get off the tube at Tottenham Court Road if I want to look at the record shops before I come into XFM and I always cut through Chinatown, and every time I come through Chinatown the same thought always strikes me, I always feel like I want to gather all the little locals, all the little Chinese fellas, just gather them round and just go "guys, in what way is this a town?"

Ricky: (laughs) It's not is it.

Steve: At best what you've got here is a novelty street.

Why I love my blog

I love my blog, if I didn't I wouldn't spend as much time as I do creating it. I was thinking last night about why I love my blog so much. I've narrowed it down to 5 reasons.

1. Making friends/ sharing opinions

I love when people I don't know leave a comment saying they enjoy my blog, or that they've discovered a new film by reading it. It makes me feel like, although I write my blog for me and I love it regardless, there is also some point to it being out there for all to see on the interweb. Sometimes I get so sick of not being listened to at work that at least on my blog my feelings are clear and people do sometimes respond. I think people who take the time to read or write blogs are people who are interested in the world.

2. Feeling part of something

Although I don't really connect with other bloggers directly much (I think I'm too new for anyone to take any interest in my blog), I do feel like part of a blogging community. When I read other blogs I can relate to things they say about blogging. I feel like we are all doing something we enjoy and although we all do it differently, we're all in it together.

3. Keeping records of your experiences

It's great to be able to look back at my blog and see what I've been talking about. It's getting to the point where I can barely remember writing some posts because they were a few months ago, and it's interesting to see what I put. Also, when looking at home decor it's a great reference point for remembering what I am looking for and searching for that. My boyfriend and friends also find it handy to know what to get me in terms of presents, and in general. My boyfriend told me he has already bought us a new kettle, and I know he checked the blog first for inspiration.

4. Time well spent

I could be sitting at a computer all evening sitting on forums or looking at websites, or sitting in my room watching TV all night. That's fine, and much needed down-time, but when I blog I feel like that time hasn't been wasted. I am do-er and I feel like my time is precious so I don't like to spend hours watching programmes I probably won't remember. Blogging is something I can spend time doing and keep.

5. Challenge

I check my stats regularly; I think about what I'm posting, and I try to improve my visitor numbers. Blogging is a challenge and creating quality content is a big part of that. I love to see new visits to my blog or a new follower. It's not the be-all-and-end-all, I would still love to write even if nobody visited, but it is something to aim for and being able to improve and feel proud of myself is a big part of my blogging. I hope you guys all enjoy my blog, and I appreciate feedback and ideas too.

If you're thinking of starting a blog, I would recommend it. My advice would be, don't just use it as a 'what I've done today' diary. You need to narrow down your posts to topics or issues to engage the reader. If I'm wrong about that, let me know.

Facebook official update

Short post today because I'm going out for dinner with my mother (haven't been round for over a week and can't this weekend so I invited her to visit me out of guilt... she said yes). Anyway, for regular followers I have an update on being facebook official.

My boyfriend and I are now facebook official. This is my first facebook official-boyfriend-ness. I am sure you are all aching to congratulate me. He initiated it, out of the blue. I actually feel like we're a bit married now... although he is definitely going to quote this back to me later so I shouldn't have said that.

Is it as big a deal as I'm making out? Probably not, but it does make me feel strange and weirdly open for all to comment on. I do not like being centre of attention electronically. It's much more of a big deal that we're moving in together. But, it does mean other females now know to keep their filthy paws off my man. Not that I don't trust him. And before he initiated it, I didn't give a toss what we had on our statuses, although his 'single' status was starting to bug me slightly. Are you facebook offical?

Anyway I'm off for din-dins.

Functional Skills vs GCSE

I have spent half of this week telling level 1 students how great Functional skills is. I have spent the other half telling Level 2 and 3 students why it is much better to do a GCSE. I don't like being a hypocrite but since I am being ordered to teach these qualifications, I have to 'sell' the concept. However, which is better to have, Functional Skills or GCSE?

 

Functional Skills- positives

Functional skills looks at the reading and writing of learners. It doesn't include literature or looking at poetry. It involves writing letters, emails and reading text for meaning. In this way it is much more relevant to learners who don't want to do a degree. Despite common misconceptions, it is NOT easy to pass, but with one-to-one coaching most learners find it achievable at their designated level. However, those learners that got a G or F at GCSE aren't likely to pass a Level 2 qualification without some serious work and coaching and a desire to learn. It is much more suitable for a lot of learners, and the ability to achieve a Level 1 doesn't automatically instill in learners that they have failed to get a good grade in something, rather that they have achieved something.

Functional Skills - negatives

We teach on the Edexcel exam board and as far as I am aware, they have fewer issues than many exam boards. However, some questions are worded confusingly. It also doesn't teach learners ways to research or write a convincing argument in the same way that GCSE might. This could be seen as a positive for those that don't want to complete these tasks, but for those progressing it came miss out on skills they need to learn. Also, many Universities and employers don't accept Functional Skills, a massive drawback for some learners. The issue with changes to qualifications such as Adult Numeracy or Adult Literacy is that they are continuously changing and becoming outdated, which means learners are wasting their time completing them if nobody recognises them.

 

GCSE - positives
 

Everyone has heard of a GCSE. Employers know what it is. It shows a standard of education that should reflect a learner's ability. It involves learning about our heritage by studying Shakespeare and poets (the GCSE English I teach has some literature and some language). It introduces the arts to learners. It allows learners of different ability to gain different grades to reflect their amount of input.

GCSE- negatives

If learners aren't able to achieve a C, they seem to be unable to access education, employment and study in many cases. What about the people aren't able to achieve that level of writing? Also, learners who have not achieved a D aren't able to retake GCSEs as retake courses tend to require you have a D originally. This means many young people aren't even given the opportunity of improving those grades. GCSEs are also subject to bending of the rules - students receiving back coursework 10 times to make improvements. With learners having 2 years and the opportunity to redo coursework, studying it in one year with fewer teaching hours and one chance of completing their assessments mean grade improvement is highly unlikely. 

Having the opportunity to complete Functional Skills or GCSE is important for learners in post-compulsory education. However, I think the organisation of this in many places (where I work included) is causing issues to the success of these courses. My Functional Skills lessons and GCSE lessons are both 1.5 hours a week once a week. This is far too long for Functional skills: after an hour of percentages learners are exhausted. This is way too little time to study GCSE: they need to look at 2 books, poetry and write 3 assignments in this time, teaching included. If only the managers would listen to the teachers now and then!!!

New home

We got the house! It was all sorted yesterday when the estate agent ripped me off by making us pay £240 admin fees. They also said we have to pay VAT on moving day of £125. What are we paying them for!??

Anyway, I am so excited about getting things for our new home. I am using this post as a board to post some of my ideas for my new house, and thus hopefully inspiring some of you guys too, or perhaps getting some useful advice? We need to buy absolutely everything, so it's a balance between getting new things, and some good quality second hand. The thing is we only have a week overlap with my old rental contract in order to make the place liveable before we move in!

Here are some ideas I have for the place.

Things you should think about before getting a dog

I am a dog lover. Not in a creepy 'pictures of dogs on my mousemat sense', but more in that I enjoy walking and playing with a dog and like having one around.

I am moving out of my rented room in a house of 4 and looking for a house for two with my significant other (God knows how he'll put up with me, but he knows what he's getting himself in to!). Obviously one of the thoughts I had was 'We could get a dog!'. Obviously with us both working full-time that may not be an option. Here is my checklist of things to think about before deciding to get a dog, both for your sake and the dog's. Until I am confident with each point, I wouldn't be getting a canine friend.

1. You won't be able to spend weekends away, or you will have to find someone to have your dog

This was a big factor in my thought process. I have only been dating my boyfriend a year. We love going away for weekends and it helps us both cope with stressful jobs. Giving that up right now would be a major downside. We could find people to look after a dog, but this is no easy feat. We don't have friends in a position to do so nearby, and if my Mum had the dog it would mean driving an hour away to drop it off. 

2. You need to own your own home.

This may not be everyone's opinion, but I think owning dogs in rental accommodation is a bad idea. Either you are not allowed a dog and are hiding the fact you have one, or you have it agreed but still risk losing a deposit due to scratched doors and chewed bannisters. Personally I think it is much more appropriate to own your own home before you get a dog.

3. You need to be in most evenings.

Dogs are sociable and they also need walking every day. You need to make sure you are around most of the time for your dog. This also means...

4. You can't work full time or need to come home at lunchtimes

Dogs need the toilet too and leave your dog for hours on end every day is hard on the poor thing. I do know people who leave their dog alone while they are at work and don't pop home for lunch, but in my opinion this isn't fair on the dog. Perhaps it might be slightly fairer if you have two, but it still means they are spending the whole day without a toilet break. I work 40 minutes away so couldn't come home at lunch times and I work full-time. It just wouldn't be fair.

5. You need places for your dog to exercise

 

A big garden helps, but parks and woods to walk in are important too. A dog doesn't want to just run around the same yard every day. The house we have looked at is right near great walks in fields so this would be great. 


6. You need a lot of spare income

Dogs are expensive. Injections are expensive. Operations are expensive. Even a check up at the vets is expensive. Unless you have a stash of cash reserved, you may have to end up leaving your pet without essential animal care. This is how dogs end up in rescue homes. Make sure you have money stashed away. I have some savings, but they need to be used on other things at this point in my life.

7. You need to be sure about your life

This seems a bit general, but I'm thinking of the long-term. If you get a dog, you need to know you don't want to jet off for a year travelling the world at some point in the near future. I would like to spend some time living in Spain, and having a dog would make that either impossible or much more difficult. You even have to know your partner won't get a job suddenly in London where you need to move into a flat because the house prices are too expensive there. My life isn't that settled right now.


I do know people who have ignored these factors and bought a dog in a similar situation to me because they wanted one. Yet, unless you are sure about all these things I think the responsible thing to do is to wait. Dogs are not to be taken lightly, they live for up to 20 years and require a lot of attention and space. I wouldn't even be prepared to get a cat at this point, as I may not be able to give it the care it deserves.

Do you have a pet? Do you agree with my checklist?